You might expect that people with money in the bank would get a lot of respect. But if you want to keep your money and your friends, you may want to keep your bank balance a secret! Having money and having respect do not go together, not that being poor gets you any great honor either.
Folks Don’t Get People With Money
Does anyone understand human nature? Not much! People are hard to understand, aren’t they. Well, don’t suppose that I am going to totally explain human nature here. It’s beyond the scope of this project.
However, I do want everyone to understand one particular interaction between people that is important for anyone trying to get in control of their money. It is this: people will never understand you not spending all of your money as long as they do.
As soon as you get a dollar ahead they will try to pressure you to spend it, or if not, to loan it to them so they can spend it. It takes discipline to keep money in the bank for future use and we should respect those who exercise that discipline.
It is not that others do not understand that it takes discipline on your part to save money, but more like they think you do not need all of your money if you haven’t already spent it. After all they never have anything left over at the end of the month.
Why People Never Understand
There is an old saying that misery loves company. Perhaps that explains part of it. When people can’t get ahead themselves, they seem to expect others to be like them.
Whatever the driving force, it is important to understand that others will not appreciate your getting ahead when they cannot. You will need to find a way to deal with it if you want to avoid the tragic financial situation most of your friends live with.
Money and respect do go together but the best respect comes from respecting ourselves for effectively managing our money. Self-respect is a much more powerful force, anyway. And it is the key to avoiding the possibility of letting others drag us back into poor money habits.
The only excuse that most people seem willing to accept when you don’t want to part with your money is that you don’t have any. If you say you don’t have any money or that you can’t afford something, then and only then will some folks leave you alone.
But if you are saving $300 a month for your next car and have almost $10,000 in the bank ready to pay for your next one while your friend is paying $500 every month on the one they drive now, how do you say you don’t have any money. You can’t honestly do that anymore. So what do you do when your good friend wants to borrow a few hundred dollars?
Avoid Explanations—Keep Your Money
1st, , simply understand that with most people you are better off not letting them know you have any savings. You may understand that your new way of managing your money is the reason you have money and they don't, but they will never see it that way.
As we have noted, for most people the facts are simple. If you have money you haven’t already spent, it must be money that you don’t really need and could better be used for something they think is important. Like donating to their cause or loaning them a few bucks.
2nd, , find a new way to answer when people inquire about your money. I am not being dishonest when I say, “I don’t have money for that right now.” I know that if I don't save my $300 per month for my next car, I will be soon paying $500 like my friends for one I am already wearing out.
Even worse, I will be enslaved by that responsibility. So I don’t have any money to spend on “that”, no matter what it is, if it is not a part of my personal spending plan.
NOTE:
This is a fact no matter how much I have in savings or anywhere else. All of my money is committed by me according to my spending plan to some specific use.
- Some will go to my reserve or emergency accounts.
- Some will go for retirement savings.
- Some may be going for a new toy!
That is ok. In fact it is great. But I can still always legitimately say, “I don’t have money for that right now.”
And it is true. If you follow Dave Ramsey's definition of a budget, (a way to spend your monthly income on paper, on purpose, before the month begins) as seems reasonable to me, then it is always true that we never have a dollar that has not already been spent!
Manage Money and Respect Yourself
There are many other situations where we must learn to think differently than others if we want to be successful with money. Learning how to cope with our relationships to others without being unduly influenced to give up our advantages is an important part of this success.
The suggestions in this article are primarily designed to help people understand some of the realities of this issue and give a management tip that is mostly helpful to people who are just getting started and need to protect themselves from outside criticism and manipulation. As you get more confident with your new money management skills this will become less of an issue.
It shouldn't be necessary to keep your money matters secret (and for those with the right personality it isn’t). People with money should get the respect they deserve for their achievement because money and respect belong together in most cases, but this is often not the case.
